The Spare So Far

I realized I haven't written that much about what's been going on with this pregnancy. Part of this is down to having other things to think about, and another (big) part is just not feeling like getting to 'excited' about it, given the two miscarriages. And if I'm totally honest, laziness plays its own part in all this, too. So while I'm in the mood, I'll give everyone the Cliff's Notes of my pregnant life so far.

* I'm just at 27 weeks, which means 6 months, which means I'm darn near in my third trimester. How and when did THAT happen?!

* I haven't really had any true physical complaints so far. Just like with LC, I seem to be very lucky. And believe me, I absolutely do NOT take that luck for granted.

* Having said that, the first three months were tough. Really tough. Just as before, I never actually got sick, but the exhaustion and nausea were overwhelming. It didn't help that I also stopped taking my medication for my mysterious stomach illness....that was a HUGE mistake. There was one period where I was curled in a fetal position (no pun intended) on the sofa in unbearable pain, crying for three solid days. Then I clued in 'Oh, wait a minute. Morning sickness shouldn't hurt. Maybe it's my stomach.' I took one of my pills, and within an hour, I was a completely different woman. Even though my dr had said the drugs should be safe, I was still doing the 'take the minimum amount needed' thing. I learned that the minimum needed was more than one pill every 3-4 days! I usually one take 1 per day as it is (the prescription says I can take 3-8 pills per day, so I guess I shouldn't stress about one), but sometimes I forget. I think I'm maintaining the minimum

* We didn't tell LC until around 20 weeks or so, and he wasn't really all that interested. He understood everything, but was more like 'Oh, a baby's in your belly. That's cool.......Can we get a cat, too?' Until the first day of school after Christmas vacation, his teacher came up to me at pick-up time and asked if I was pregnant (God love getting big in the winter. Nobody can see it under big puffy coats!). She said he'd told her himself. We were astounded! He volunteered the information to his teacher! How cute. Then, the next morning, a mom in the class came up and congratulated me. I was puzzled, and she said her daughter had told her. Then I was really puzzled. Turned out, LC didn't just go up to his teacher one-on-one and say 'Mama has a baby in her belly', he outed me in front of his whole class in their morning 'group meeting' in their circle! Talk about heart-melting! That's when we realized he truly does get what's happening, and is processing it and welcoming it fully in his own way.

* LC has taken a tiny stuffed bulldog we have and christened it as his baby. We found a little cardboard box to be his bed, and LC has collected toys for the dog baby and covered it with a napkin as its blanket. He now makes sure any friends that visit our house are fully informed babies can only have blankets up to their chins, and NOT over their heads. Oh dear, he's already taking up the role of the bossy big brother.

* My maternity care is being handled by two different teams, both at the hospital. (generally it's only with midwives in out-of-hospital clinics) I had my choice of a dr/midwife hospital combo, or a local midwife as last time. I chose the hospital because of the (minor) complications I had with LC, I had to be handed off to the hospital dr's anyway. If the same thing happens again this time, I figured we might as well skip out the middle process altogether.

* Interestingly, my dr (a gynocologist) actually requested I do half and half care sharing with the hospital midwives, because he 'doesn't know as much about babies as they do.' Coming from the States, that's such a strange thing to hear! I know this will be hard to explain to my Yankee comrades, but midwives aren't just backwoods folk medicine people with nothing more than band-aids and blankets. They are highly specialized medical professionals, it's just that their specialization is pregnancy and childbirth MINUS most 'medical' interventions. They cannot give epidurals, C-sections, etc. While they have a certain array of aids at their disposal (oxygen tanks, first-step pain relievers, etc) when things get to 'complicated' stage, that's when the dr's take over. But the dr's themselves are not experts in normal pregnancies and baby development. So if you have a 'normal', boring, by-the-book pregnancy, you actually probably get better care if you're with a midwife than a dr. Doesn't that sound like an alien concept for our North American brains to grasp?! It took me ages to fully understand this, but I get it now.

* One thing that is most definitely NOT North American is the after-care I'll get here. For the first 10 days after birth, a woman is entitled to in-home care. That number is reduced if you spend any time in the hospital (i.e. if you're in the hospital for 3 days, you only get the next 7 days of care in-home), but in some rare cases of difficult recoveries, it's possible to even have it extended. Depending on what's agreed with the agency, a woman will be entitled to 3, 5, or 8 hours of assistance every day for those 10 days. Yippee! These 'nurses' do physical checks on you and the baby, help you with feeding, changing, make sandwiches for your lunch, will do baby-related laundry, field social visits from well-meaning but badly-timed neighbors, help look after any older children you have, and generally see to it that you don't get out of bed for those hours she's there. How amazing is that?! And I've checked with our insurance company...because of the supplement we purchased (partially because of its maternity care), we are fully covered for the entire 80 hours of care with nothing out of pocket. Hallelujah! This is seriously one of the reasons we desperately wanted to have MiniMac2 in Holland as well. Yeah, it can be a bit weird to have some strange person in your house all that time, but I'd rather have the teeny bit of weird for the big bit of wonderful that comes with it!

* I have absolutely no idea how much weight I've gained. Because I was so unhappy with my fat self before the summer, I didn't step on a scale beyond May last year. Then I had a fabulous time eating and drinking my way through the States last summer, convinced I'd get back on track and lose weight once arriving back in ClogLand. Not long after, I learned I was pregnant, so was clearly NOT about to step on a scale then! And the great thing about prenatal check-ups here .... they never once weigh you. Woo hoo! Their thought is that it doesn't matter how much you gain, so long as it's in a normal range. And if you're gaining far too much or far too little, they'll notice it and will deal with it then. Otherwise, what's the point? What difference does it make if you gain 30 or 35 lbs? I love that!

* Having said that, just from looks, I don't think it's been an unreasonable amount. I don't think I look horribly puffy or round (not much worse than usual, anyway) and until about 2 weeks ago, wasn't eating much more than normal

* Two weeks ago the appetite kicked in and I started eating way more than I should. Yes, it's good it took 6 months to get that way, but I'd prefer if I started slowing down a little on that now.

* I haven't had crazy hormonal emotions ..... until about three weeks ago. And I don't freak out over nothing, it's just that when things do stress me out, I react much more intensely than I normally would. My emotions are more exaggerated, not more frequent.

* I have had three pregnancy freak-outs, where I've called the hospital saying 'I don't know if something is wrong, but I'm a little worried about _____. Can I come in?' The first two times I'm pretty sure they were just patronizing me, the third time they scared me with 'Well, we know you have things scheduled today and would like to wait until this afternoon, but from what you say, we think maybe you should get here in the next 20 minutes.' WHAT?! I lost all composure then. But, as it's turned out every time, the answer was 'Ok, we've had a look, and while we understand why you panicked and think it was absolutely right that you came in....you're totally fine. Go home.' So, all is good.

* No, we really, truly, honestly did NOT find out the gender. We aren't keeping quiet to surprise everyone later. Do any of you seriously think I'd be able to pull off something like that, even if I wanted to?!?!?!?

* No, we haven't talked about names all that much. I know what boy's name I'd like, and I'm pretty sure we're going to have to do the four-name thing for a girl (first, middle, middle, last) because we have never been able to decide between two of them. And as it turns out, in both my German and Swedish ancestry, there have been multiple women in the 18th/19th centuries that had these names, too. We learned this years after picking them out, so there's clearly some form of genetic memory going on here. That's not a joke, either. I truly believe it exists. I once knew a British woman who married an Italian man, and ended up (completely unknowingly) naming two of their five children after her Spanish great-grandparents. There IS some form of subconscious memory that can get passed down through family generations!

* Since I don't disclose real names here, feel free to email me and I'll tell you what we're considering

* I have been blessed this time with friends to pass down maternity clothes and offers of girl-stuff if we have a girl. We've had to buy just a couple relatively minor things this time around, but everything else will be brought down from the attic. Maybe that's why this feels so relaxed this time ..... I haven't even set foot in a baby store yet!

* I am tired every day. I need to have at least one good hour-long nap, and sometimes a 20-minute catnap as well.

* I have also been waking up anywhere from 2-6 times each night since the day I found out I was pregnant. Preparation for short bursts of sleep in the near future, methinks?

* My body hasn't changed much, but oh Holy D-cups Batman, the porn-star boobs have most definitely arrived. I woke up one morning, looked down at my tank top and thought 'Well, hello, girls! Where did you come from? I didn't order you!' I hope they blossomed early and will slow down now .... I HATE the idea of spending money on bras I may only wear two months out of my entire life!

* Having gone back and re-read parts of my journals with LC, my 'cravings' are exactly the same. Salty/starchy things in the beginning, Coca-Cola and sweet stuff now.

* Two of my girlfriends who claim to have psychic abilities are absolutely certain I'm having a girl. Everyone else is evenly divided. So go on, let me know your predictions. I'd love to hear them!

* Oh! I didn't even mention the most bizarre part! Both LC and The Spare have EXACTLY the same due date at the end of April. To. The. Day. 365 days out of the entire year, and we land on the exact same one twice. What are the odds???

Hmmmm, it seems my Cliff's Notes have turned out to be more like the extended-version. Sorry about that. I'm using this as my own personal record as well, because (unlike with LC) I haven't journalled or documented much of anything. So as long as it's multi-tasking and keeping in contact with all of you wonderful people out in that big wide world, I'll keep using you as an outlet....and live in blissful optimism that you don't mind.