Every now and then, it's cathartic to have a good moan/complain/gripe/grumble. I choose to see it this way, as healthy and productive, rather than a sign I'm becoming crotchety before my time. So I thought I'd share my psychological de-tox with all of you on this cold November evening. Here's a list of things I hate:
* Indecisiveness
* Liars
* Putting clean sheets on the bed
* Folding laundry
* Ironing
* Vanilla-scented products
* Mickey Mouse and his friends (yes, all of them)
* Dora the (F*ing) Explorer
* Ridiculous levels of 'politically correct' (see this link for a prime example)
* Cucumbers, olives, tea, coffee, melon, cooked carrots, peas
* People making judgments on others' food preferences. Reminds me of being in elementary school ..... 'Eeeeewww, you like peaches?! You're disgusting!' Why the need for comments? So I like cottage cheese, and you like boiled cabbage; big f*ing deal! One less thing for us to argue and fight over, right? Hardly a reflection on our social compatibility...at least, I certainly hope not!
* Lace
* Hundreds of people herding themselves through the one open door at the mall, rather than opening the 2nd, 3rd, 4th door available (are we really all such sheep?!)
* Pessimism
* Playing any sport that involves a ball -- although I'm considering making an exception for tennis
* Fake people
* Being patronized
* Lack of self-responsibility
* Disorganization
* People not cleaning up their dog's mess (a tough hate to have when living in this country!)
* Closed-mindedness
* Having to pay for monthly feminine products (I'm convinced if it were the men who went through this frequent joy, such things would be available to them for free)
* The crusty bits of lotion that always stick in the cap
* Putting dirty dishes right next to the dishwasher .... that extra two-inch reach to put them in the dishwasher is just asking too much???
* Waking up at the crack of dawn on a weekend
* The fact that my grocery store, which opens at 8am, may still not have fresh bread on the shelves at 9:30am. Clearly, the order of priority is as follows: Employees (who don't have to come in at 5am to make sure the store's ready to open at 8), customers who arrive after 10 or 11am, then the rest of us early-birds. Grrrrrrrr!!!!!
* Cutting open a beautiful piece of fruit to see it's rotten on the inside
* Getting to know a beautiful person, and seeing he/she's rotten on the inside, too
* Violent movies
That really is more than enough for now, I think. I was very tempted to put 'complaining' on the list, but then I saw the fantastic irony in that. Until next time ......
2 comments:
Oh, dear friend, you are HILARIOUS! I laughed out loud at several items on the list, then said a triumphant, "YES!" to several others. What kills me is the mood you must be in writing this...the expletives, saddened descriptions (beautiful piece of rotten fruit)and the fact that I can FEEL your frustration across thousands and thousands of miles. I really hope that felt good to get off your chest! If nothing else, it sure made me laugh.
I'm usually tempted to "borrow" ideas like this for my own blog, but with the day I've had, I don't think it's a good idea to encourage this kind of thinking of myself. I can just see Mike walking in the door in an hour. I'm already going to get, "What is YOUR problem!??!!?" with the way things currently stand. Adding this would be...um...unwise at this juncture.
You said "Crotchety". That's awesome!
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