The Final Countdown

As of today, I'm fully cooked. 37 weeks. I'm officially full-term. I could pop any day now.

Of course, the reality is, I could also still be pregnant 5 more weeks before I'd be induced, but I'd rather not think about that.

People have commented about how fast it seems to have gone. Ever notice how it's always the people NOT pregnant who make those statements? I'm not saying they're not right, but I have yet to hear a mom-to-be exclaim 'Oh my goodness gracious, where HAS the time gone?!' (naturally, they all do it in the Scarlett O'Hara accent I heard while typing that) So here are some highlights from this time around:

* The experience of pregnancy is very different after two miscarriages. I won't lie, it dulls the shine a bit. It takes more work to stay calmly positive, and yes, I do mean work. In many ways, i've had to focus more mental energy this time around, just in trying to keep balanced.

* I still had/have pregnancy freak-outs. From worrying about complications from the miscarriage surgeries to not feeling 'enough' movement to thinking I was going into labor at 22 weeks to wondering if the little darling has epilepsy and is seizing in utero ..... previous healthy experience does not fully shield you from panicking. (everything has always been perfectly fine, by the way)

* LC had a pattern of 24-hour Olympic gymnast one day, beer-drinking football-watching couch potato the next day. Honestly, he had one full day of using me as a human punching bag and contorting my stomach so severely people could literally see it across the room and through clothing, the next day I couldn't get him to move with a cattle-prod. Such an indication of the personality to come. This one? Nothing like LC. I've come to describe this one as a 'lava lamp'. The movements may last for two solid hours, but it's more like stretching and morphing into different shapes. There may be the occasional elbow or knee (who can really tell the difference?) pushing more than anywhere else, but overall, rumbling rocks of the goo inside a lava lamp. Could I possibly be getting the calm, easy-going child I ordered?! I don't dare temp fate thinking about it too much.

* The horrendous claustrophobia hasn't set in this time like last time. I had to work so hard at not panicking due to the terrifying constricting feeling the final weeks with LC, and so far, it hasn't hit me as hard with this one. I'm sick of not being able to find a comfortable position to sleep or sit on the sofa and watch TV in the evenings, but I only had the 'this gives me the same feeling of someone with their hands around my throat' experience briefly this time. I'm hoping it doesn't return.

* My body is clearly getting me ready for interrupted sleep. Since the day I found out, I've been waking a good 3 times each night. I used to need a 1-hour nap each day, but then it changed to 2-hours. Then I started staying awake when I woke at night, and not being able to sleep much later than about 530 or 6am. Like I said, good preparation for sleep-deprived nights to come.

* I can't really eat dinner anymore. By that time of the day, my stomach has reached capacity and there's no room for anything else. It feels like I've had gastric bypass surgery, I can handle such small amounts of food. I know from past experience, though, breastfeeding will soon change all that. I'll be desperate to eat every hour on the hour then. Ah, the insanities of this crazy experience.

* Speaking of insanity, it's finally hitting me how drastically our lives are going to change in a few weeks (days?). I don't just mean re-adjusting to 2am feedings and diaper changes (do I even remember how to put on a diaper?), but the whole dynamics of our family and how we interact with each other. I'm not complaining, I'm not claiming it will either better or worse, just admitting that the change could be huge. Or not. Who knows? Maybe this transition will be seamless, and we'll all just flow into new roles without batting an eye. Stranger things have happened.

* I'm more relaxed about my medical care this time, because I know what to expect. With LC, we'd only just moved here 3 months before he was born, and I knew the Dutch approach to childbirth was vastly different to any place else I'd lived. I also didn't know my body and its reactions to things as well as I know now. My wonderful team of doctors and midwives have been very helpful and sympathetic, though, and I now have three things show up in a fluorescent yellow box on each and every screen of my medical record each and every time it's opened.

1. Check on her frequently, even if everything seems fine
2. If she needs intervention of any kind, the saline IV must be set at a faster drip-rate than standard
3. Don't fight her at all if she asks for any form of pain medication, even if it doesn't seem to be medically indicated

Some of these were because of the minor complications I had with LC, others are due to how I've learned (through the hospital treatments for miscarriages and fertility investigations) that my body works. The result is, I have the confidence that anyone who's on call that day will give me the full medical support my body needs. That's a huge weight lifted.

* My low blood pressure has affected me a lot in the past couple weeks, but at least I now know how to recognize it and can take measures to help fix it. Ironically, I've had the two highest BP readings of my entire life during this exact same time period! So my body's telling me one thing, but the numbers are saying something totally different. Having said that, 'highest ever' for me still only means once my top number was 115, and another time once my bottom number was 75 .... those are still NOT high numbers! But when 'normal' to you is 95/60-65, those others seem like they're through the roof. So while the downside is that low pressure can feel horrible to experience, I at least have free reign to eat all the salt I want in my life. Mmmmm, salt.

* Speaking of 'mmmmm', I have a confession. I have also consumed (gasp! horror!) alcohol during my pregnancy. That's right, ALCOHOL. I know, I know, call Social Services, this woman is not fit for motherhood. Get over it. I can count on one hand the number of drinks I've had this whole time (ok, fine, so I have to use all my fingers AND my thumb, but whatever), so I've hardly been abusing. But I refuse to get worked up over one Bacardi Breezer at midnight on New Year's, and a single glass of wine on a few other special occasions. Besides, with all the difficulties a woman has to deal with during pregnancy, I think the least she deserves is the odd drink every 4-6 weeks to help her unwind. Those few glasses of wine I've had have probably been the best I've ever tasted!

* My job now is to work mentally on preparing for the experience. I have a plan in process of meditation / self-hypnosis (it's not as airy-fairy as it sounds) that so far seems to be working, and I have reasonable hopes it will be a great help to me when the time comes. At least I know i'm doing everything I can on my part to make the event as calm and relaxed as possible.

* As i've been thinking of things, i've set them aside to be prepared. The baby clothes were washed/hung/folded/scattered strategically throughout the house a month ago. The hospital bag has been packed for weeks. All the furniture is set up (except the large crib, which we needed to special order new bolts for). I have four friends lined up to be on my calling list if we need help taking care of LC when I go into labor AND I've already given this list to his teachers at school showing permission for any of them to pick him up. All the phone numbers we need are programmed into our cell phones (thanks for the tip/reminder Mom!) I already have two weeks' worth of meals prepped and ready to go, including the meat portioned out and labeled in the freezer, and the seasoning packets/cans/bags all labeled in the pantry with the recipes printed out, highlighted what fresh ingredients need to be purchased, and the components of each full meal in their own ziploc bag and placed in a box in the pantry. How's THAT for Type A?!

* Check out the after-care I'll get: 6-7 hours of care each day for the first 7-8 days after the baby's born (any days you spend in the hospital will be deducted from those figures, but most women are home within just a couple hours after giving birth .... the baby nurses arrive at your house a few hours after that). That's a total of 49 hours of in-home care, where the intention is that I shouldn't have to get out of my bed for a week. The nurse will do minor health checks on me and the baby, help get breastfeeding going (even calling in a qualified lactation consultant if we need further help), change the diapers, do the baby's and my laundry, make lunch, look after LC if he's here, scrub my kitchen/bathroom/floors, screen visitors, and generally anything else that means I just need to breastfeed and then can go back to sleep. And insurance pays for all this, so we shouldn't see a penny fly out of our own pockets. YIPPEE!!!!! I love this system here. Strange as it sounds, it was a big reason we really wanted to have our second child in Holland!

I know there was one more thing I wanted to say, but I can't for the life of me remember what it is. You're probably thinking 'More? After all that, she still has more to ramble on about?!' and are very grateful for me to shut up.

So I will.

Here we go.

The Final Countdown.