Ok, I'm going to vent for a little bit. It's nothing major, just one of those niggling little annoyances that lingers. Sort of like the fly that hovers around your TV at night when you're trying to watch a good movie, and you're never quite fast enough to catch it.
So what's bugging me now? The Battle of the Sexes. That's right, I'm on a gender-driven rant. It may sound like I'm irritated by the opposite sex, but really, I'm going to tell off my own beloved sisterhood. Sorry girls.
Where in the world did we get the idea that it's ok, no, tolerable, no, expected for us to accept lower standards of conduct from our nearest and dearest? Why do I hear so many girlfriends lovingly complain about the fact that their husbands/boyfriends/sons are totally useless at laundry/house-cleaning/time management/forward thinking/etc? They seem to actually ENJOY the idea that their men would shrivel up in a corner and die somewhere without them. As if it's a GOOD thing their men are completely incapable of accomplishing any of the things that (for some inexplicable reason) are simply expected of us .... and all because of our gender.
Here's my question: If women are 'supposed' to be able to do laundry, cook, manage multiple schedules within the family, plan ahead, etc, why on Earth are the same expectations not laid upon our men? Just because I have a certain set of chromosomes, I'm somehow genetically programmed to instinctively know the difference between 'boil' and 'broil'? My physical plumbing is what tells me I can't throw wet clothes in a giant lump on a clothesline and anticipate that they'll dry?
No! It's because I was taught these things because I needed to know how to take care of myself and have an independent life. So why the heck do we, as the female gender, not lay the same expectations on our men, for &$%£ sake?!
And yes, I'm liberated enough to admit the same code of conduct should apply to me as well. I SHOULD know how to change a lightbulb, to hang a picture, to mow the grass. I SHOULD know the very basics of car maintenance and fuse-checking. And you know, I'm proud to admit I'm pretty darn good about most of these basic-living functions, thank you very much.
Please, girls, stop lowering the standards of expectations for ALL of us simply on a gender basis. It's ludicrous and doesn't do anyone any favours. We are all here on this Earth together, and while I'll grant there are certain differences that can't be overcome (Daddy will never be able to breastfeed, and I'll never be able to open bottles that he closes using his Popeye muscles), but for the most part, we should be able to look out for both ourselves and each other equally, to free us up to celebrate the REAL differences between us .... not the superficially and artifically imposed ones.
1 comment:
Mike was single for over 6 years before we got married. He cleaned up after himself, did all of his own laundry, managed a household with roommates (and the place wasn't even a pigsty...) yet once he put on a wedding ring, his memory began to fade. Slowly at first, then quickly.
The man can function very well in my absence...it's my PRESENCE that he has trouble with. When I'm around, it's what's expected. And I truly believe with my whole heart that it's because his mom did everything for everyone when he was growing up. I'm trying to make a conscious effort to raise Ryan differently. He sees Daddy doing dishes one night, grilling the next, vacuuming and mopping (ahem...occasionally...) yet I don't think Mike's been in the laundry room longer than to grab a beer out of the spare fridge! Some things fall out of habit, I suppose.
And dads should absolutely teach their daughter about car stuff...I'm so clueless in that area!
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